~Friends First, and then Sisters?~
~Friend or Foe? What Are Your Siblings To You?~
~A Life of Faith Article~
Written by
I used to think that my friends went before my family. I wanted my
friends to look up to me and I wanted to look up to them, no matter what
their age was. Living where there are only older people and no kids, let
alone a girl of my own age, makes it so I only have my little sister and
friends in far off places. Every night I prayed to God that He might bring
me and my beloved friends together, and that I would look up to them,
and vise-versa. One time I was praying this prayer when I was getting to
the “Lord, please bring my friend ________and _________ to me... someday.
Please help us to become dear friends and that we will have a deep
honor and respect for each other. Also, please make me someone worthy
of respect…” when I suddenly realized what I was saying! Why was I
praying that my friends would look up to me when I had a little sister
watching my every action? I should have been praying that I would be
someone my little sister could look up to, and that I would be a Godly
example to her. I realized that I was neglecting the duty God gave me as
an older sister; I repented right then of what I had been praying every
night for the last three weeks!
I do not believe that it was wrong of me to ask that Christ would
bring me closer to my friends or that we might meet someday; but I do
believe that it was wrong of me to ask that they might respect me without
a thought about my younger sister.
I pray that we older siblings will be the example God would be
pleased with, to our younger siblings. Like one of my friends once told me,
“…Our parents are normally with us for the first part of our lives, but aren’t
normally there for the last part. Our future spouse isn’t normally there for
the first part of our lives, but usually is there for the last part: this means that
the only person (s) that is there with us through our entire lives is our
sibling(s)…” and it’s so true. Make your best friends, your siblings. You will
always have a friend then.
By: Kristen DePriest
Most have them; they’re not like your friends; when your friends annoy you, you know that they will leave soon and that you won’t have to deal with them, but your siblings are present 24/7. The following is based on an incident that happened while I was talking on the phone.
In the background I could hear shouting and screaming. It sounded like there was a whole den of lions, cougars, and panthers right there in their house. “That’s mine! Leave it alone!” shouted Sister One, not knowing that she was about to really get it. Sister Two sent a fist Sister One’s way. Sister One immediately cried and sent a foot in Sister Two’s stomach. Sister Three came into the room. “What do you two think you’re doing?” she screamed. “She took my doll!” Sister Two said. “What!” Sister One shouted into Sister Two’s face. “I took your doll?! You took my doll!” The argument went on and eventually I got so annoyed I told my friend that I had to go.
Think about it: These three sisters are kicking, hitting, punching and screaming at each other today, but what will it be tomorrow?
Cain and Abel
Cain killed his brother Abel because Abel had the blessing. Surely that wasn’t the only reason why. The fire had to have a little time to grow before it exploded. Perhaps when they were children they fought. What could have started that murder? Below is a list of things that could have started it:
· Lack of forgiveness
· Angry Words
· Pride
· Jealousy
· Lack of brotherly love
· Lack of time spent in playing together
Do any of these words apply to your relationship with your siblings? Let’s set up an imaginary account of what happened to Cain and Abel as they grew up.
1. Cain became proud that he was the oldest. He was “too high” to spend time with his little brother.
2. As Cain and Abel grew, they neglected to spend time playing together. Because of less time spent together there was a lack of brotherly love.
3. When Abel wanted to play, Cain rejected him. When Abel again asked to play, Cain got angry and used angry words.
4. Cain refused to repent of his anger.
5. Abel received God’s blessing, and Cain was jealous.
This is just an imaginary account of what happened, but it could happen to anyone if they don’t get their relationships right with their siblings.
Why Satan Attacks The Home And Family
Satan knows that to live a Godly lifestyle, you must have a Godly home. That’s why he’s destroying the home! The home can be the hardest place to learn how to get along with other people, and yet God put you in the home first and foremost to learn. It is in his plan that you learn in the home while you’re young so that you can easily handle the people who may chew you out every once in a while. While you’re growing up, your siblings are being used as God’s tools to teach you virtues! You learn patience every day as you deal with your siblings in the right way! 1 Peter 5:8
Siblings Are Always There!
I once heard this at a home-school conference (being home-schooled I hear a lot of these): your parents are there for a good portion of your life, but are normally not there for the last part. Your spouse is there for the last portion, but normally isn’t there for the first part. That means your siblings are there for your whole life!
Building Strong Relationships With Your Siblings.
Imagine your relationship with your siblings as a house. Everything you do will either build up or tear down that house. Yikes! How many times have you torn down your house with angry words, bad attitudes and mean looks? How many times then have you repaired the house and built it up?
One thing that helps to build a strong relationship with siblings is not only to spend time with them, but encourage them! What are some ways to do that? Well, you could tell them that they’re doing great on their homework, or perhaps make a comment on how the shirt that they’re wearing really sets off the color of their eyes. There are so many ways!
Give them your attention but no, not when they’re being naughty to get it. When you’re doing a project and they come up and say “Whatcha doin’?” explain it to them patiently and kindly as you would to a friend, because that’s what your siblings should be to you. You could even go another step and stop your project as you explain it to them. After you’ve explained what you’re doing to them, if you want them to leave, I find it best to say something like, “Now, then, I’m going to need to concentrate here, so why don’t you run along?” If they don’t, DO NOT start shouting and screaming at them, you’ll undo everything you just did. Perhaps you could then say something like, “Okay, Bubby, if you’d like to stay, would you please be quite so that I can get my work done?” Most likely, if you say it nicely, and have explained things to them nicely, they will be quiet if they stay.
“But what if my siblings never are nice to me, even after I try to be nice to them?” Keep going the extra mile (Matthew 5:41)! As my family works on sibling relationships sometimes one of us decides to be the ‘old sibling’ and not be co-operative, then the rest of us does our best to be kind to them, and show them the love of the Lord. Proverbs 18:19a, Proverbs 15:1
Copy-Cat
The Lord has put me in the position of being the oldest of four children. Quite often I get aggravated about something I see in my siblings. That is until Mom reminds me that at a time in my life, I was the same way. I get so agitated when my brother sometimes corrects me when I sing, but do you know what? A couple of years back I was correcting him when he sung! Older children are examples to the younger ones. If you shine a good attitude on them, they will return it and pass it on to the next in line.
Contagious Attitudes
Have you ever noticed how if one person in the house is grouchy, then the whole house is grouchy? That’s because grouchiness, discouragement, grumpiness, and hatefulness are contagious! That means that if you have one of these harmful spiritual diseases, it can spread like wildfire! But wait! There’s GOOD NEWS! Joy is also contagious! 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us to be joyful always! How can you be joyful? How about singing? You can tell a difference in a joyful person, and a grouchy person!
So then, now you’re probably thinking, “Wow! Kristen is so perfect in her relationships with her siblings!” If you are thinking this, you’re wrong! I struggle every day just like everyone else. I wrote this because the Lord has convicted me about my relationship with my siblings. Like all humans I have sinned and “come short of the glory of God”; so therefore I am not perfect.
I hope you have found this helpful in your relationships with your siblings! Keep in mind Proverbs 18:19a, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city.”